When it comes across infidelity in relationships people who suffer with borderline personality disorder seem to be much more likely to cheat. If you're currently in a relationship with somebody suffering from this problem and you know that they are cheating on you or have a suspicion that they're being unfaithful you may desire to look further into the aspects of bpd and why having it makes them more likely to cheat.
Victims of this disorder are crippled with very strong fears and fixations of abandonment. Regardless of how much you love them, support them and are there for them oftentimes they still feel an overwhelming amount of emptiness or a fear that you were discovering who they actually are and leaving them is right around the corner. So why does this fear may come unfaithful? I am sure that there're a lot of reasons but let me to denote a few of the main ones:
Filling the emptiness, for a borderline like a starving person they're fixated on filling the emptiness within them. That is probably why when your relationship started they seemed like the ideal person showering you with love and admiration and perhaps even some gifts and promises of a perfect future, you were filling their emptiness. However as time goes on their faith in your ability to continue to feel their emptiness wanes in their paranoia & fear sets in. No matter how excellent you are to them or how hard you try you just can't fill the void that seems to be inside of them. They begin to start flirting with other people since getting compliments from somebody new builds their sense of self-worth and vanity in the hole inside them begins to fill, this in turn leads to sexual relationships outside of you. When just simply flirting behind your back doesn't become sufficient they start to seek out more and more intense relationships to fill that void. Unfortunately they quickly discover with their affairs and flirtations that the void hasn't been filled and so the cycle begins all over again.
One more key reason which may cause people with BPD to cheat is self sabotage. In their head there's a war going on and they literally feel like you are going to ultimately leave them all alone abandoned and feeling worthless. Like a pilot pulling the ripcord on a burning jet they factually do something to self-destruct a relationship in a "I am getting DQ before you get me" type of thought process. Whether it is infidelity physical or emotional abuse an usual theme for borderlines is to sabotage their relationships having their world crumble around them but they feel that in some way they are in control of the demolition since they were the ones that planted the explosives.
If your spouse suffers from this problem and you are having strong feelings and doubts that they are having extramarital relationships sadly their condition may be an indicator that your suspicions and fears are right.
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